True Friends.....

This last few months I have been in search for all my true friends, now going thru my list I have discovered that there really aren't that many that I will can say is my true friends.

I got my friends a list just big enough to fill every day of the month and more, but at the real true friends list a don't really have that much... if I can even fill a week with that list I will be lucky.

I have learned thru my life that you never but never really know a person, No matter what you don’t really know them... Got 2 good friends that I have known and been friends with for 16 years its almost 17 and you know what I don't really know them, yes I know there moods, the things they like, the things they don't how and when they do things but there are still a big side of them I don't know. Every one of them know a deferent part of me, with the one I'll talk about this part of my life and the other I will talk about that part, weird how it works....

Then there is a good friend that I only know for 3months now, the funny thing is that that person knows more about me than the friends I growed up with, Okay so he/she doesn't know my whole child hood and what I did and did not do, but he/she knows all the important stuff that ever happened that not even one of my true friends know about. Why is that? Why can I share every thing with that one person and not with the rest?
Well end of the story, I only have a few real True friends that's always there and for that I wanna thank you all. But just think about this one little thing. Do you really know your friends? Do they really know you? There's always something hidden somewhere that you or they don't know about. Well I'm on a mission to study my friends, have started with that about in the middle of the month, it is so weird what you can discover after all this time.....

The one that got away....

I met you some where
I felt in love
but now it looks
if your ganna go
I dont want you to go
I want you for me
just mine all mine

I love the way
you make me smile
I love the way
you make me feel
when ever we talk
you make me fall
it doesn't make sence
you got thru my fence

I look as you walk away
I feel the window of my heart
getting colder
with every step you take
you getting smaller and smaller
I just cant help
to feel as if
it was my mistake

so I guese your that one
yes that one who got away...

Sword thru my Soul

This post has been writen on friday but just couldn't get it posted.........


Your so nice and Sweet
The way you smile
The cute litle nose
That Beautiful deep eye's
A harmless Angel you are

Something that nice
Just cant hurt a fly
Your a prinsess
Yes you are
A beautiful soul
And nothing less

But that harmless
You are not
You hurt me
I got the pain
That sword you hold
You left thru my soul

O this pain is just to much
This pain is making me nuts
I'm going to a dark place now
As you were my light
But you got me bad

Pull out the sword
Please do
I cant take it
I'll not servive

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A special thanx to Drizzy for supplying me the pics that match my feelings, Thanx...

Blood Obsession

All have their obsession
Some got this
Some got that
But for now
I have this...

Blood obsession
What an obsession it is
As you eat my soul
While still alive
And death comes out to play
The play ground is here
Just nok on it door
And come and play...

All we need is a place
A place where Death Surrounds us
Just to see all the body's
All around, missing this
Missing that, but most of all
No soul left to play

O how wonderful place that is
Playground painted with blood
Just red, all red...
A place the sun don't shine
A place with no life

Now thats where I sould be
Now thats what I want
But where to find
How to get there
Thats the qeustion with one answer

Come and join and you will see
A life with a deference
A life for you and me
A place we can play
A place with no pain

Got an obsession, yes I do
Got an obsession with for no life
Got an obsession for pain
But most of all
Got an obsession for Blood
And more Blood

So lets go and bleed
Just you and me
Till there's no more left
But to die a slowly death

What a day.....

Yesterday I whent to work again for the first time in 4 weeks that I actually treid to work... and what a day that was, you can not believe in how many things change in jst 4weeks, its ammazing...

I got there just after 9 in the morning walked into the office and there every one that were there where around me ready to say what happend this last month, as I walked to my table I had this tail op ppl following me... Got my laptop out on the table pluged in and switched on and just walked out of the office to go and make me a cup of coffee, they cant bother me till I had my coffee....

Whent back to my office after got my hot cup in my hands and just sit down and listened to every one... Okay the last time I were there we were about 40ppl exculing the admin, yesterday I found out that there are only 15 left, the rest all just took there things and left. So many rules and stuff changed that I couldn't really work, had to make sure all my things are still on the rules...

And then I will not even talk about how the stock market changed, WOW.... I now have to get all my beerings back to gether, my brein is burnt out at this stage...

O what a life....

My Baby's back.....

Finaly after almost 4 weeks working on my baby she is finished and up and running again.... Yipee... 4 weeks of hard work and a few marks on my hands she's almost ready to go and have some fun, now its just for the most dificult part ever, keeping her under 3000rpm's for the next 1000k's, now how I gonna do that I don't know yet but it just have to be done...

Going in on friday just to check the timming and co's as I do not have the machine to do it my self, then the rest of the 1000km that has to be done and then a service, just to get out the SAE40 oil and back to my normal 20w -50 oil with an added ecoteck 100 to my oil just to make it to the best you can get. After that it has to go in for an dino to get it back to the racing settings on the motor and then I can open up my feul ecoteck feul saver again...

Then its off to the racing tracks and drags for me and me baby again, cant wait... haven't been on the tracks for a long long time. Gonna have a blast again... Hope to see ya all there... LOL.

But the only bad thing about me baby thats working again is now it's all back to work again :(
Darn it was so nice not to go to work for a few weeks but then again thats something we just have to do, work work work, back to reality for me...

Forbiden love

As I look in the sky
I wish I can fly
Just to fly away
Where I have to stay
O how I wish to be there
There with you just be fair

But that's not for me to say
As I have to stay
Got no wings to come to you
For all your beauty
Its all up to you

O why should love be forbiden
Shall it be for ever
For us not to be together
O my dear angel why not fall
Just one leap for all
Its all thats needen

Break the chain
So we can train
For the rest
to be the best

My love for you will never die
And that's no ly
Even when I'm no more
It will stay as before

O my forbiden love
What I can't have
Is this the end for all
Till one you fall

Angel or Not?

The only true Angel that I have seen
You look so nice you look so sweet
From the side that I can see
I like you I do but is that now true
Are you really that are really what I can see
For my eye's are blind and looking thru my mind
I'm only seening the Angel of mine
Can you be can you be true
Oh how I hope my minds not blind

You standing there o so sweet
You stole my heart for me to see
Now I dont have, staring at your feet
Cant help to think that it can be
Can you really be all good and no bad
Can it be true for you not to have
A deamon inside that me cant see

For only good and no bad
It just cant be true
There's not much thats perfect accept for you
Show your deamon show my soul
For my love to know

Are you the Angel are you not
For what I have seen that is true
You are indeed you are all that
Perfect in more than one and only good

For no deamon and no bad
You have my stolen heart, for you to have
I opened my eye's and looked with my soul
Seening you glowing as the moon
Realizing my love is there and that is true
As I will always love you for you!

Mythology

The Ancient Ones
Emerge and run
In Chaos' full eruption
An evil band
In every land
Delighting in destruction

What seems shapeless
Formless and faceless
Their Great One is releasing
So to enslave
Both god and knave
Their sorrows thus increasing

Who is man
To stay the hand
Of those the gods can't better
And a hero yet
Takes the bet
To break the evil's fetter

Three lights of hope
To help you cope
One south, in sand and wonder
One to the east
Defeat the beast
And tear their plan asunder

The final light
Will mark the fight
Where you must face your fear
A door ajar
You travel far
And yet you find it near

Split life's!

Okay there's alot of ppl with split personality's, Wish I could have one, now that would have been fun. Now it's me gentel and careing and then just a few seconds it's the other me evil an djust stay away, darn that sounds like fun. And that would have made my slpited life's so much eassyer.

So Split life's. Yes I have two seperate life's to live and what a hassel it can be some time's, you just can never be at bove at the same time, there's always yeah but sorry I'm this weekend at my other life will not be abel to make it. Now I wish I hade a way to just combine the two, see the problem are that I have a few friends and I mean real friends, then I have my few famaly members thats not blood of course, It's just a few friends that I see as my brother's and sister's. Just a few thats piked out and I will do every thing I can to help them when ever, what ever and just don't give a dam about the after affects.

But now I cant put all my famaly members in one room, or with some friends and vise versa or there will be blood pooring from more than one. So when ever I wanna do something like a Bday I have to split them in half, Today it's with you lot and tomorrow it's with the other lot. Now that sucks as I have to gain 2years in one. Getting old verry fast at this stage. Now I just wanna say to my two seperate life's PLEASE sort out your S*&#. I cant take it anymore going somewhere with the one part and walking in to the other part just is not working any more. Yes I do understand why and what but I just cant do it! The one part wanna be friends again but the other part just have to say sweet. So come on say SWEET and lets all be friends again. I do not care if your friends or not but I just wanna be abel to put you all in a room and there should be no blood, and every body just enjoying them self, no sad face.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
This is all I can do and try, because there are nothing that I can do to fix it, It's up to u's!

Life of mystery!!

Well I'm beginning to come back! The love has not faded and are still stong in my blood but the evil have defently came out to say hi! This last 2 weeks have really pushed me to the limits and yes I have reached it today. My hole lfe feels like one big F #!@up at this stage and there's nothing I can do to fix it!!

Have any of you ever thought of a defernt life? A life where every thing is just simple and eassy and there's nothing that's bodering you or nothing that pushes the blood level up until it just cant anymore. Well ppl guese what that life exist, it really are out there and it really are right in front of us! You just have to take it! Use the oppertunity that is if you really whant to.

Well I have been there before and it was great, the best time's of my life were there. But there's only one problem with that. Its a great life to live, its very very interesting, I know most of you have found it interresting and have wonderd how it would be like. What make's ppl go there? Well the answer are eassy, just to much of life. Thats all it takes. Okay then to have some old friends thats already living that life just makes it eassyer to get your feet in it. No I'm not talking of Criminals Acts. There I will never go!!

Okay back to the problem of that life, It's just not a way to live! No human been can live that life and enjoy it. There has to be something wrong with you, Yes you do get the good and the bad but more ppl take the bad trend than the good. The Bad is just so much eassyer than the good, you can do so much more with the bad. I'm talking here about the life in which craft and wizardtry. Yes it do exist. And Yes its wonderful in that life. And it works.

There's only a few things keeping me away from that and that is my wonderful friends and the love for someone special. If that someone weren't there then I'm sure I would have been back to that life by now. And then there are my believes that are top of the list of why not! I believe and I always will! And in that life there's no room for believe's in the good or bad. I just really Really hope that I will not go back to that, I just don't wanna. I want to enjoy my life as a good person, someone that will always help someone else!

The life is there for me to pick Yes or NO! That is just one of the door sets I have to pick from.
To all my friends thanx for being there. For my friend in a deferent life, also thanx for being there. Then Drizzy thanx for all the help and support you do not have an idee of how much you help! And then Another special thanx to you Beautiful. You have opened my eye's in more than one way, You have brought me this far with out knowing it! Years and years of searching the universe of that litle some thing that makes life worth living, we'll at this moment you are it. Yes I know it will never be as I want it to be, but still you are there and hopefully will always be. there's only one thing that I do regret from meeting you and that is that you have moved my tast level up, high up. For that my soul mate, my true love will never be found as ther's no one , and nothing that can compare to you!