Hi There All.

To all the readers of this blog. Sorry to say but this blog will be quiet for a while. I'll have to give all my consetration to my baby for a while. She needs some work so I'll be a bit bussy with her the most of my time thru the day and proberly the evenings to. But I will be back soon.

When I'm back this blog will change alot, yes some ppl will be glad about it some not. If it will change for the good or for the bad that I cant say at this moment but it will become more of me and my wonderfull life. Going thru a change in my life and have to get my self back as I where before. The last few months have changed me a lot and broke down all my walls around my soul and heart. Well they are being bult for scratch again and this time stronger.

Who knows maybe you will like the new me, maybe not but all in all thats not my problem if you don't. As I'm a freak and I'm changing back to be one. This last while I've been a the other me, the part of me that tryed to get out! But its not time for that part to come out and proberly would not get out very soon. So till I'm back. Keep an eye out and carry on posting, I'll still be going thru all yours.

Till we meet again, For better for worse..... Lets see.....
HAHA This cat got some weird eyes.

My Special Friend!

This I dedicate to my Very Very Beautiful Special Lady Friend.

My friend and her X decided to get back to gether and give it another shot, and with this post I just wanna wish you good luck and I really, Really hope it works this time. If there's one thing I noticed these past few weeks, it would be that she really cares about him and that he must have made her a very happy person and for that I'm glad. If he makes you happy and if he makes you feel special, then its worth every second!

But with this I just wanna ask you to make 2 promises to your self, well one is actaully to me. No. 1 - Don't let our friendship change except for the better. No. 2 -Don't make your self unhappy just to be with him. Then its not worth it, your a very talented beautiful girl and deserve the best. So make sure you get the best.

And remember me as a friend will always be there for you if you need help with anything, You know where to find me. And lots of love!!! Once more Good Luck!!!

I Miss You!

I Miss You, What does it actaully mean, it is so eassy to say the words but do you really mean it? Its a few simple words that can make you smile, a few simple word that can make your hart fill with joy and its a few simple words that make's you feel special and that your not alone in the world. The big question is just what do you really mean with these simple words?

To me "I Miss You" means that I have thought about you alot, I couldn't get you out of my mind I cant be with out you! Lets take this wonderfull weekend of mine, vryday I had a braai with some of my frriends, and a few that I didn't know. HAHA the one freak, same the poor guy he's close in my hart, feels like a small brother to me. I'll always be there for him if he needs help. But anyway.
As the night went on there were only one thing in my mind and it didn't help what I done that one thing just stayed in there. Saterday I visited my two new friends, very nice ppl... but still one thing in my mind. Saterday night we went to play pool, and there was this one girl humming around me almost like a bee..... didn't know her before that night. but still only one thing.

Sunday we went to wesbank raceway as we got a few VIP tickets for me Bday, They were fake though so it didn't really help. But It was a wonderfull day as they had weird races or must I rather say opstical courses to drive and there in the pit, She was standing there looking so beautifull, I walked up and just stared for 10mins, Now thats the only ten mins that I was not thinking of that one thing that never leefs my mind. That 10mins were while I was looking at the beatifull Nisan Skyline GTR R34 V-Spec... Darn I want one....

There after back to my normal thoughts, Now when I say I missed You to that Beautifull Angel I really mean it, I also maen that I just couldn't stop thinking of you. You are always in my head no matter what I do. Your Beautifull smile and those Beautifull eye's, how can you get that picture out of your head? you just can't. So I just wanna say.....

I Miss You!!!!!!! every second of the day, every day of the week, every week of the month and every month of the year, every year of my life........

The Call

Yesterday night I got this marveliss call. This wonderfull girl pretending to be someone that I slept with a wail ago on a drunk night and now she's pregnant. If it only was the truth, It would have made my day soooooo good. But unforgently I know its not true. But you have done a very good job, almost confincing! There is just one big problem with the whole call. The last time that I was drunk was uhmmm new years! The second one is the last time that I was at a party where I met new ppl were 5months ago, so for your call to say it was two months ago and I was drunk. mmmmmm................ It just couldn't be. But for that two ladys that made the call, Thanx I needed it, There's at least still a few ppl just enjoying every moment of live, Again thanx. O yes and just for the record!! I know its one of two ppl. As its only those two tthat know I'm back on my old number. And I have an Idee it was you...... But thanx.

P.S. Next time you do this to someone, Please just put the phone down before laugthing, other wish the guy would never stress a bit, and think!

My Life!

What is it that makes life wonderfull?
What is it that makes life terreble?

Well lets see. What makes it wonderfull? The love from familly and friends, the love from your partner, and reaching your dream in life! Reaching your goals in life well how wonderfull for you!! Every body is not as lucky as you are. But every body is treing. Happyness thats the biggest answer for a wonderfull life.

What makes it terreble? Not reaching your goals, failling with every thing that you do, And the worst knowing that your dream will never be!!!!

Well I think I'm at this stage of life at the moment. Every thing is just not working out. Every yhing is gooing wrong! And to think a month ago my life was Wonderfull.

Why sould these things happen, why are there always all the downs, and so few up's? Yes I geuse thats whats maing Life, Life but in that case do you really wanna be alive?

Okay I know that I'm not sounding good at this moment but what can I say. Every thing that I worked so hard for is bussy to go wrong, why did I do all that hard work for nothing? And then then to make it even worst as a have a big fear that is bussy coming true, Darn why now? And then just for the Cherry on top, my no.1 dream in life would proberly never happen as my life took a weird turn a two years ago, and all hope for that dream was lost. The thing that I wanted the most I will never be able to have ( No its not a girl and its not a car ) but its been my dream for a long long time.

Then you get your wonderfull friends thats all ways there for you, except now, when I really, Really need them. They are there but not how you need them. Tryed talking to my wonderfull friend and all that happend is that I just got more depresed and just feels worst. I mean when your down under, you don't wanna hear how bad you are, and if you done that it would not have happend. Come on I feel bad enouth, dont make it worse you b............., F.......... you! ( Sorry Peeps just have to get it out)

This is the time that your friends should stand with you, not against you. You make it worst. ( O What a Wonderfull song, Such a lonly day of System! Sorry of the toppic but It's Playing now ) So all and all, at should help not this moment my life sucks so please don't think that I'm not here, I'm just not as happy go clappie as normally. To all my friends Love you all, To the special one Still Love You more than every thing. Know that I'm quite the last while but I yeah what can I say.

Love To Dream!

O How I love my dreams, they allways feel so real. I just whish that I can have one every knight thou.

Had a dream last night. I can remember that I was small, very small proberly got shrinked with a shrink ray..... but any ways, I was chassing this other very small person under neef the couch and through the kitchen cabets and every where. As I finally got to the guy after climbing over dog pallets and stuff. I saw that he stoped and watched some one else also very small. Fighting a spider but what a weird spider it was.....

This litle spiders (Okay Huge spider as I was small) body were not normal, Nope it had a tortis shell as a body, just with more holes in the sides for his legs, as he had about 12 legs. the legs was mostly green with every joint red, had about 6 joints per leg. The head I cant really remember...

So this small person fighting the spider with with a red cloth, almost the same as they use for the bulls. As the fight whent on the guy that I chassed has just disapeared and the one fighting the spider has decided that he had enoth and just ran. Leaving me now alone with this Humangis beast. Well I treid to fight the monster but two hand against 12 legs..... It just didn't work. The beast got me, Darn now its to late to run. Just to notice as he grabed me with his legs that the things legs are electicuted, so I got a shock of my life, Darn that felt so real.

And thats just where I had to wake up, Darn whish I could have only slept one second longer.

Who's Beside You!

It all comes down to who's beside you!!
So true, I must say. Ppl always say that they don't change when they get a girl/boy friend or visit alot with some one. Well I dis agree.

Ppl change more than one thinks and it happens right in front of your eye's with out reallizing it.
Look carefully and you might just see them change. You give things up that you normally used or done, your personality change and you just adapt to your new suroundings.

I've seen ppl change from assholes to very nice ppl just for a bit of love. Stop drinking, stop smoking deferent eat habbits and a totally deferent life style, going from populur to dweep just in a few days. LOL okay maybe not dweep.... Well lets take me for instence, a long long time ago when I were not as single as now. I gave up smoking not because I was asked to but just because she didn't like it, I went from alcoholic to casual drinker and I gave up my motor sport hobbie, Not completelly but to much according to me. ( No more dicing.... ) And bad from my side forgot some of my friends. ( Worst thing ever... ) Change in interest and began to watch chick films....

Okay yes, thats a few tipical things, But the point beeing. Ppl adapt to with who they are friends and / or who's by there side. There's so many things you'll do for the love of your life. You'll move to a deferent state deferent country. You'll give up almost every thing you love and you'll change your life style. Is it all worth it?? We'll according to me YES, for as long as it last, But dont give up that really maters, Its not worth making your life worth nothing just for them. Select your friends carefully and select your partner from your heart and not your mind. Your eye's might be blind. Your heart will know.

Darn I'm Tierd.

Went out with the Phase1Racing peeps last night, and what a wonderful evening it was. Darn Red Ridding Hood has a few Marshall Art moves. But any ways got home at about 3am. This morning I got up and finished for work as tiered as hell. But left home at time and hit the road to work, normally an hour drive. As I got into my car I popped in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s cd and just cruised, driving for about 20 to 30 minutes and bam a darn minion trying to drive. Pushed me off the road as he don’t know how his breaks work at a stop street and felt in behind him, driving 20km/h in an 80 zone. Irritating me and then just out of the blue he decided to turn right, never mind the car coming from the front. And again almost causing an accident, but at least that’s were I could drive again. Irritated pulling away from a stop sing I accidentally took 50 000km of my tires, and that’s were I realized. I’ve been driving for 20 – 30 minuets and where the hell am I going? Completely off the road that I drive to work every morning. Meaning instead of going east I when west. What went on in my mind? Darn I hate it when I do things and never knows why I done that. And this is not my first time it happened. Remember a few years back I drove to secunda and as I stopped there at the secunda mall, I realized uhmmmm what am I doing here? I actually wanted to go to Kruger’s dorp. Uhmm………. Why does things like that happen?

Lost mind!

My mind are lost, My mind are gone, I can't think no matter how hard I try. Thinking of this thinking of that but in the end only thinking of one thing.
Trying to watch tv tyring to listen music but still its only that one thing, that one thing floating in my mind, that one thing thats stuck.
Can't get it out, can't get it to leave but no more.... have to find my mind....
Don't know where don't know how but there's no more time, with out my mind are with out me!

Where can I look where can I see,where my lost mind can be. Trying to work trying to drive, its no hope, no hope at all. Leing in my bed sitting in my car its always just there, No matter how no matter what I'm glad it is, but I need a break I need my mind, at least just for now just one day, thats all I ask.

I have been thinking, O yes I have as its all I can do, as its you!