A wish for you

Last night I saw a shooting star

And I made a wish with all my hart

They say a wish do come tue

When it all o so true

I could have wished for my dream car

I could have wished for rich and fame

I could have wished for something hard

I could have wished for all I want

But instead I wished for you

Not for you to love me

Not for you to want me

But for you to see me

Just to feel your soft skin

To taste your soft lips

To smell your beauty

To see the colour of your soul

It's all I'll need

My wish is for you

For you to be happy

For you to be spoiled

For your my prinsess

My smile, My life

So here's to you

And you alone...

Blessed be!

How do you tag a Freak??

Okay so I have been tagged by Sammy to show you six weird things about me... Okay fine, But now you tell me. How do you ask a crazy weird freak to name six weird things about him?? According to me every thing I do are normal, but okay I'll try my best....

1.) Okay I'm not afraid of a snake or spider ect. ( find them sort of addorable ) And yeah there you are sitting and thinking thats not weird right... But the weird part is the fact that I am soooo scared of a little horsie, I cant stand 10 meters to a horse thats not behind a fecnce and I'm a ball of goose bumps.

2.) The way I think... ( well according to friends ) If you take some thing little like a light bulp. You say well plug it in and light. me again will think of how this thing works, why if you normally heat glass it breaks but here there's a 0.5mm glass that gets to the heat of 300 degrees ( you can look it up if you dont believe me ) and yet it never burst. the wire are 0.2mm and takes a while to burn out on 220V. put the same size wire on a 12V battery and it will melt in 0.2 of a second... Why's that??

3.) Believing.... I'm a fond believer of things, like my wonderfull Aliens, yeah they are there.... and the conspiresy theory's, you see a corn field and I see the millitary base underneeth the corn fields. The missile silo's dressed as those big round buildings "where they put the corn in". haha watch out for the nuclear popcorn....

4.) My little sleeping places... There are a few times that I have passed out on a little bathroom carpet, you know those small little thingy's in front of our shower. Yes them, that, close to life wires and plugs and I sleep like a baby... or underneeth my compers desk, Once in a cars boot never again though, that was the worst sleeping experience I ever had.

5.) The devil in me.... Now this is the evil grem that comes out to play every now and then, with just the right trigger and believe you me, when thats triggerd you will eassely see it in my face. *smile* Okay this is when I blow up every once's meat on the fire with exploding rocks, Playing with a burning worm ("brand wurm" hehe) thats about 10cm long. hehe stuff like that and more but this page is sencored ******

6.) My love for pain.... Okay don't get me wrong here, I will never go and hurt my self for the fun of it, okay almost never but I do so every now and then but we don't really talk about that. I broke my arm a few years ago and well I didn't feel it until I treid to pick something up and saw that my arm was bent. Okay the broken neck was just plain hell. Got burn marks on my arms somewhere that should have been only one but got 4.... oops!! I once looked how hard eastrand malls roof walls are, well it was stronger than me after connecting the wall at atleast 15km/h face first. the wall still standed.... oops. Trying a suicide move with a rhynobroard that your puls stands 3cm swallon. that was fun, hehe.... kinky.

Well theres a few well six points for ya all. we'll for me they all are normal but for you it might be crazy, weird and think that I'm a freak. Well thank you because I am. Okay one more for you guy's or girl's. I'm how old?? I done matriek langauges and I still can't spell and get lost when ever there are big words used like .................. well sorry the words to big for me, cant prenouns it so can't spell it. haha then also a dictionary are made to check your spelling right?? Well how the hell can you do that if you dont know how its spelled?? you cant search a word to confirm the spelling if you dont know how it sould look like, so what does that really help??

and then.... hehe okay I'll stop I'll go on now for ever with this little small thingy's.... So I TAG the one and only, the ruler off all, the all knowing...... Give me a D, Give me a O, Give me a N.... hehe Okay fine. I TAG Miss Donsie....

Blessed Be!

Addiction

As I wake up in the morning
I know I need it
In the middle of the day
I know I need it
In the start of the evening
I know I need it
Before I go to bed
I know I need it

I have an addiction
Yes I do
I cant go with out it
I feel so dead
With out there's no life
With out I'm not me
I need it now
I needed it today

I'm laying here on the floor
My body begins to get cold
As blood moves thru my vains
I'm sweating rivers
I cant get up, the drugs to low
My brain cant function with out
My body don't obbay
I have an addiction
I have no cure
Just my drug
For now and here

Your my drug
Your my wake up call
Your my days energy
Your my good night kiss

I have to hear from you
I have to see your smile
I have to stair into your deep eye's
I miss you so much
I miss your soul
I need you in my life
Please dont be so silent

Another Year has past...

Wel every one has already done a cristmass post, and every one are getting ready for leave, (Lucky peasants) so I decided I'll do this before you all go and leave me alone here to suffer thru my long december month...

Most is done with there christmass sopping every thing wrapped signed and and redy to dish out, waiting patiantly to see the smile on the persons face when recieving there perssies and the fake smile when they see what they have recieved from you saying thanks this is great... (mean while their brain is shouting out what the hell sould I do with this??) Aaaahhh aint cristmass just the best??

Well hope fully every thing works out so that I can spend my christmass with my chosen fadamily (Lee and Stiffy) so that I can also spend that time with the ppl close to my hart, Wish there were bit more that I could include in my christmass but mmmmm......

So merry christmas to all.... And a happy new year!!!!

Aaaaahhh New years.... Camping out in our new soon to be front yard with anoth liquer to feed the poor, (Darm aren't I glad I'm poor), a Braai to feed my litle pet (very demanding for Lots of food) that would hopefully be before we break the neck of the first botle fished out of the can. A litle bit of fun activities and alot of KINGS... (dare to chiken out and that will be your end) and soon to past out some where on a rock where you will be left to rot.

Have a nice holiday peeps. Enjoy every minute of it as next christmass is still far far away.

Blessed be!

The words BRB...

Can anyone please tell me what BRB means... I always thought that it means "Be Right Back", and this last few days I was proven wrong this three letters just cant mean that.

I have been getting this so much the last few days, just a small "brb" and geuse what, that brb turns into a big NEVER. As I'm sitting there and wait for the back part, I just realized that that back will never be today. So I guese the next time I get a "BRB" I have to say good bye and have a nice evening, sweat dreams and We'll chat tomorrow again.

Yeah I know this post is just a lot of crap but why say BRB if you never come back?? Why not just say good bye?? At least then I know "Till next time". So now for the new meaning of BRB... Well I guese that means Bath, Room, Bed... So good night!!!!!!!

Well all BRB.

Blessed be!

Shadows...

As I wake up in the mornings

As I open my eye's
I look in to the darkness
Of my lost and lonely soul
I'm surounded by blackness
I only see shadows of all
As all surounds me
In this small place of mine

I can see myself standing here
All afraid of what cant be seen
The space is getting smaller
As more surounds me
Everything is building up
I feel like falling down
And cry some tears
But I know tears will never do

It's sharp as it moves through my skin
My blood is slowly pouring out
As each drop makes its way to the ground
I can feel my body weakening
My eye's dont want to see
My minds not getting air

I can feel my life moving out
My body getting colder
As I hear the drops falling
I know this is the end
The end of me being me
The blade has won
As I let it to

All gets darker
All gets softer
And all thats left
is Silence....

Blessed be!

I'm Back....

Hay there all, I'm back on popular demand, hehe ne just kidding I missed my blog and all my freinds. But yeah I have found out that there are a lot more ppl reading my blog that I known as they all asked me why I'm not blogging any more. Well sorry for not being here for all this time, Just have been so bussy sorting out my life.

But I'm back and will do my best to get back up to speed with an update every day, Well I'll try my best...

This last 2weeks been hectic and hard and I'll need at least week of sleep non stop just get all the rest I need. Well started at my new job, and got sort of promoted after two days, They are actually fighting for me in the office. LOL if they only knew... Move to my new "gat" for just a while and how hectic that was and still is. Don't know How I'm gonna last till next year but yeah will just do it.

I made two new Wonderfull and Special friends to party with... Darn I'm glad for that, to miss ppl like that in your life is a terror you just cant have. Thanx to My new wonderful friend that done soooo much of effort for me and my connections that night. It was great.

Well my baby is still standing due to the suspention, I just dont have time to fix it. So for now I just spend some time looking at her and thinking she needs a bath.

Well That will be all for now, Just wanted to say that I'm still here and the postig will begin again from today to the end. Again sorry for beeing away. Missed ya all and If I haven't got to your blog yet, Sorry I still will. Then for those who just read.... Why do you not comment??

An it harm none, do what thy will.
Honor, Responsibility and Duty Always!
Strength be to me and to thee."
Blessed be!

The Bunny Died

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it has to be done. I have to get this out of my system one way or another so here it go.

I have been here for you from day one… Yes I felt in love with you as you stole my heart, You made me to believe that there might be a chance, My life could be perfect no matter what’s wrong. I have given my life, my soul for you to have as a sign of my love. Your beauty has brought me thru every single day, you were my life, I smiled every second of every day as I knew that you where there, You were part of my life.

But now I’m just your toy and that has to come to an end… I don’t know how to be evil, mad, or angry with you, I just can’t bring myself to do it. You have hurt me one too many time’s as there are too many to count in this small length of time that we have been “friends”. But yet I always have forgiven you after spending the whole day in tears and Ignoring my friends (Sorry for that), When you said sorry I was yet again a happy man. There were times you had no reason, there were times you had. But you always no matter what let me feel as if it was my entire fault. Well blame it on the bunny.

But I have news for you… This bunny is dead, What you did last night is unacceptable, you hurt me, and you know that. But yet it doesn’t bother you. You accused me of something last night, something you know I hate the most of this world, and in the end I was the bunny. I’m not your toy, I’m not just a little bag of emotions to squeeze when you had a bad day and to hold when you had a good day. My heart is fragile and that you know but yet you play with me. This is the end of your toy.

You Love Me… or You Don’t
You’re My Friend… or You’re Not
Stop playing with me according to your moods… I can’t take it any more.

I know I will be sorry for this post as I know this is gonna harm our friendship. I’m sorry for that, I truly am. You know I value our friendship, You know I will always be there for you if you need help. But you said I must go on with my life. I’m trying my best. But now I’m moving on and have become a player?? How in the hell do you get this!!!

I hope that we can still be friends. But I’m moving on as you don’t really want me for more… Have to go on with my life. But still want you part if you think you’re up to it.

Here's to you and here's to me
I pray that friends we'll always be,
But if by chance we disagree,
The heck with you and here's to me!

Darn I don’t know How I’m gonna get thru this but Hell have to see…(Well that is if I’m going to get thru)

Closed Eye's

I always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you
But in the prosess I forgot that I was specail too
I always wished that I could find someone as talented as you
But in the prosess I forgot that I was just as good as you

Madonna - X Static Prosess.

----------------------------



It all hapened so fast
You were there but not me
I was looking into a wall
I could not see
I treid to jump
But yet I fell

I was blind I saw just one
You were there, I didn't see
There always was that something
Was it the way you made me feel
Was it the way you made me smile
I always waited for you
Yet I looked over you

I wish I could turn back the clock
Just a few days its all I need
It came with a shock
When you opened my eye's
I could see you of all
To late as time has passed
Just a day or two
I was a fool

How can love make you blind
How can you miss Beauty
As beauty have a certain shine
A light to see in all the darkness
A light to guide you thru
I had to see you
But love has blinded me

Time run out
And I have missed
Time don't stop
That I'v learned...

Dedicated To Andrea...

Small Things

Our lives has got so bussy that we all miss the small things in life... When last did you stop just to smell the flowers next to the rose, when last have you staired at a small bug and just thought wow?? Look at nature with open eye's and just think darn this is beautiful...

We all are so bussy thinking of work, our next party, I need a drink, my next car, ect.... Well stop and look adain how beautiful life is. We have the most beautiful planet to live on. We have the most beautiful creaters, well thats with out those park town prawns, Those things are just discusting. I can take those buggers...

But there are so many things taken for granted. So yeah we have a lot of crime, and a lot of evil in this world but look at the positive things with in the end of the day are more than the bad. But ppl tend to look at the bad and forget about the good. Wake up and smell the rose for that will make your day. Just to remember all the good and beautiful things in life could elemenate all the bad...

Come on ppl, lets try to stop worring about every thing, Stop all the stress of work and your life, Life will work out some way or another. Just follow the path thru this beautiful garden road, stop and take a close look at this tree... It's in your life for you to see. Enjoy life to the full an dforget about all the bad in your life and you will realize that its not that bad.

Strength be to me and to thee.
Blessed be!

Changing your Stars.

Every one can Change there own stars, If you really believe....
It's all in your hands to change your stars, only you can do it and nobody else. But it can be done if you really want to.

Okay so what do I mean?? I mean that you can make your future what you want it to be, if you are willing to change it. Okay I have a friend that shown me that you can be what and who you want to be if you just put a bit of effort into it. (wish I had that will to do it) Okay quick back ground. a few years ago he was nothing more than me and he just decided he wants to be something in life so he started to rearange his stars and at this moment he's bussy doing his MBA degree and are one of the highest respected ppl in my life and in a lot more...

To go for nothing to hero, it can be done. What do you want? You want your BMW, your private Jet? well whats your problem?? go and get it. If you really but I mean really want something why don't you have it's not out of your reach even if you think it is, just reach and grab it you know you can... Yes it will envolve some risks to take but you can do it.

Go for it. Go and get your dream... Lee good luck as I know you are bussy changing your stars, and I know you will reach it, you have the right attitude towards your challenge that leis in front of you... I know I can to that... and I'm bussy doing it.... So for every one thats going after their dream, Good luck and remember you can....

Our Wonderful Metro....

Okay everybody know our wonderfull Metro Polisee and Every body just have to love the little buggers… I mean come on most of the are driving a little 1300 or 1400 Chico Golf and then they think they are the king of the roads… They can do just what they wish to do. Playing with there siren and just basicly give’s you crap because they had a boring day…

I can still remember the day of me and Skillie (MKII Golf oh how I miss her). Okay well Skillie was hot and most wanted in Jetpark as I were always at the illegal drag racings on Sunday’s and what fun we had… But when ever I was just driving with her in Jetpark doesn’t matter what time or when I’ll get pulled over by some metro or cop who just had a boring day… I remember one night me just driving normally and got pulled of by a off duty Metro (okay my normal driving includes a bit of seeding every now and then).

As the metro pulled me over (this happened in Jetpark) I got out of the car and darn wasn’t he an misribel old man. As he couldn’t really give me a speeding fine he just gave me crap. Well for those who don’t know me that well I hate cops and metro’s. So mr Big Mouth Grem opened up his mouth and then it was over. The old man asked me to open my bonnet he went and got his little book and manual out of his car and started. Looking into my bonnet and began writing your tapped cover is leaking oil, Bull it was only breathing, its kork it will get a bit wet at the out side. And so he went thru my engine looking for every little thing he could get. Well just because I opened my mouth every time he wrote I stepped away with a R700 fine in the end of the day.
But hell it sure was fun to give the prick crap. Worth every send…

Okay F$#@ this now you getting a half of a story because of Microsoft so thank them for there crap software, I have done this second half 4 time’s now and wouldn’t do it again. So a special thanx to Microsoft for Their wonderful Only error software…

Sorry Lee but you’ll have to battle again with my spelling cause this spell check is only giving me crap….

Forgeting a dream....

All your life your searching for a dream, the dream that can make you happy, the dream that makes everything worth while well what happens if you find that dream and that dream is not ment for you. What do you do when you find out that dream will never be yours?

Well I found my dream. a Dream worth more than life but I also desocvered that this dream does not belong to me... This dream will proberly never belong to me... I now just have one problem with all of this. I'm hurting my self and more with my pastion for this dream.

Now how do you forget about this dream with out forgetting? How can I get to that point to not hurt myself and others but still to have that dream present in my life? As I do not whant to throu away all the beauty in it. but with the same breath I don't know how much longer I'll be able to go on. It's hard enouth for me just to get to the point that its not my dream... and to forget that it is... I'll not be able to take that whole dream out of my life... To forget it completely will be my end... but to make peice that its not for me will be hard but it just have to be....

The War of survival.

And thee day has come. The war for survival in my lonely dark life has began and I'm already out numbered against this major force against me. All my wonderfull enemies as joint forces to the batle of the end. The dark time's that I can see in front of me doesn't look good at all it creates a picture of terror in my mind a picture of hate a picture of denile and a picture of the end. My enemies are sure to win this batle or must I rather say this war...

All the terror of what I'm gonna do, is bussy braking me up into a 1000 pieces, stress is taking over my soul as I don't know where to go what to do, How I will servive this I don't know yet... As for two weeks left to get a new roof over my head, have to get a job some where as mine have left me along the side of my road. My emotions is playing me like a rubber ball stuck between two narrow walls. The hate is growing inside me as I thought it could, it's growing and growing and I can feel how it just want to burst...

Denile of all kind is stikking its knife thru my back for me feel that it's still there, for me to know that life is still gonna torture me for a long time. My emotions taking me down like a lion take's a dear, just as you think you excaped the sharp and long claws it grabs you at the back and just pull you down again. The need for somethings you just cant get is like looking for ammo in the middle of a batle field cralling on the ground eating dust as you trying to breath searching for ammo on every dead boddy you pass. As you know if you stand up it's the end off everything you know....

As skywalker found out that the Darkside is more powerfull and easyer, my soul feels like to go to the dark, my soul is looking for an exit of the terror... I can see the darkness covering my world as the mist comes over the mountains as the dust of my life get blown into the air by all the exploding emotions... my body is sweatty, I'm couthing my longs out as there's no more air for me to breath, falling down on the earth that ones was ground and now all thats left is dust covered in blood for as far as you can see. trying to get to the body lying next to you but dont have the energy to reach...

Just lying there as the air gets less, lying there while welcoming the long painful death as there's nothing you can do, you just turn around on your back looking into the sky and just see darkness..........

Pain....

Every body takes pain as something that hurts and as something that’s bad. Well I disagree a bit with that one, pains not always something that hurts or something that’s bad but it can be something that you enjoy and something where you can find peace and comfort, yeah I know it sounds a bit weird and a bit freaky but there’s some truth in it.

Okay let’s first take normal pain, pain of the body. Now most of you have broken a bone or has cut your self and got stitches. Was that pain? Did it hurt you? Well you survived so I’ll take it wasn’t that bad… In my life I have broke my arm that was quite funny as I thought I bend it (don’t even ask), I cracked my neck on some stupid way (no comments please…) and broke the cracked neck in a car accident. And I have cut myself 100’s of times, okay not always stitches and I have found that, yes this pain hurts a bit but actually I’ve learned to enjoy it… Body pain hurts but it sure is fun….

Then you get your pain of your soul…. Now there I can’t get any comfort but yet some ppl do. The pain of your soul is when you lose someone special to you in life or death, when every your heart gets broken into 1000 pieces. Sometimes it’s the smallest little thing that makes it hurts so much…. When ever your heart get crashed, it’s a torture that you just cant take, it hurts so much that your willing to end every thing and just say good bye to the world. The human soul is built to be one of the strongest things that you’ll ever find but yet they get damaged and grow to be soft till it’s too late. It’s this pain that makes ppl to end everything. It’s this pain that no one can stand it’s this pain that no one wants.

Why should life have this pain? Yes this is all just emotions and feelings but emotions are the best thing of life and yet the worst of life. Emotions can build you and it can brake you. Why is mankind so strong but yet so weak?

You can build me in 10sec but you can brake me down in only one!!

Glimmer of Light

Sleeping with my eye’s closed
Living with my mind closed
Following the dark lonely road
It’s deserted to the end
It’s only you alone
With shadows of all
Hiding you from light

The path of the end
The beginning of life
Where does it go
Are there future at the end
As clouds and fog
Cover’s it all

I felt a breeze
On this lonely path
Moving over my skin
The fog’s and clouds shifting away
I’m beginning to see
The path gets clear

There’s a light from above
Glimmering at me
There’s hope I can see
The shadows gets less
The path brightens up
There’s live all around

My little light above
Keeping me on the path
As happiness is there
As I’m not alone
Thanx for shinning
My life makes sense

------------------------------------

Life has its dark and lonely times… every one gets them and the timeline for that darkness is all up to you… remember your friends are there to help, let them clear your path, they might be harsh and cruel but they only want to help, and that’s sometimes all you need… most important never give up on that little light of yours it might seem gone but its still there and it’s the only thing that will get you back to the path… reach for your dream and you will get there…

Should I face reality...

I'm sitting here in a dream world, alway's far far away from reality my mind is going place every second of my life with my eye's always closed as I never whant to see the trueth of whats before me. I don't want to face the fact that I'm not going somewhere, I don't want to face the fact that my future will never be as I wish and I don't want to face the fact that I can't get what I want. Why would I want to face reality if its all bad and no good???

I talked to some one yesterday that really made me think and I'm sure she doesn't even know that, what we were talking about is not important but what came out of it is... The few simple words that has made me think were "do you really think that" just that little phrase has got me walking up and down last night not knowing what to do with my self....

"Do you really think that" hell I can put that in front of every single piece of my live and it just proof to me that I'm living in a fantasy world and not here with the rest of you. Do I really think live would go as I plan - NO, do I really think that I'm happy - NO, do I really think that I ever would be happy - NO, do I really think that I'm myself - NO. doesn't really matter what the question is it's always gonna be a NO. accept of one or two things but then with those 2 things do I really think taht it will ever happen - NO. Well that's where it all came from, no I dont think it will ever happen... But hell who knows may it will maybe it not, I don't know but I sure wish that it do, I know one thing thou if it happens most of my NO's will become a YES.

But back to the point, Why is it that I can be happy living in another world while in actaul fact I'm not close to happy. Why can a person close there eye's and think, its not that bad I'm happy here where deep inside they know there not? I know there's better things in live than in my world, I know I can be happy in life with just a bit of effort but yet I chose to stay in my world far far away from the rest, its some I can find peace no matter what. I know if I have to come back to reality at this stage of my life I would not survive...

I know when ever thing are just getting to much I go away, I go to my happy place. But I'm afraid that my happy place is harming ppl around me, I'm afraid that my happy place is harming my real live, I'm afraid my happy place is harming my fututer.... My live my soul is not here on earth with me... All my love is with my loved one's but for more than that I'm not here, this is just a holligram of me sended thru a signal from pluto...

UFO Aduption

Crazy or not.... It have happened...

At my first job doing work as an technitian and software support I've spend most of my time with my friend Muffin Man in a car driving around from place to place it happened... after that I was a tech and drove far distances and it happened... after that again a tech and it happened... then my last job before where I am now, again a tech and again working with Muffin Man spending the whole day with him in a car and it happened again.... Darn I'm glad I'm out of the tech jobs for now...

Have you ever been driving around from one point to another where you have just lost time or where you end up somewhere and you dont know how you got there? Well then it have happened to you too. Yes you were a test subject for some other weird creater from oter space...

Well it have happened to me and muffin man alot so don't be scared, we are still alive and bouncing on the floor of the earth... We have got it so many times where you make a trip that you know only take 30mins but yet when you arrive at your destination 2our has passed, or driving to krugersdorp and end up in secunda and cant remember how you got there, well ppl that is all part of the alein reseach.

They come and pick you up while your driving around, do there weird tests and after wards erase your memory so you cant remember any thing... They just some times drop you in the wrong place as they get mixed up with all the ppl they adupt... You might find this fanny but as weird as it is, its true... the weird thing is just that for some reason they really love me and Muffin Man as it happens alot with us... We are there best test subjects.... hehe lucky us...

So be warned... if it happens to you, you know what happened.... We thought we were safe but it happened Yesterday again with Muffin Man.... They are still out ther looking for you...

True Friends.....

This last few months I have been in search for all my true friends, now going thru my list I have discovered that there really aren't that many that I will can say is my true friends.

I got my friends a list just big enough to fill every day of the month and more, but at the real true friends list a don't really have that much... if I can even fill a week with that list I will be lucky.

I have learned thru my life that you never but never really know a person, No matter what you don’t really know them... Got 2 good friends that I have known and been friends with for 16 years its almost 17 and you know what I don't really know them, yes I know there moods, the things they like, the things they don't how and when they do things but there are still a big side of them I don't know. Every one of them know a deferent part of me, with the one I'll talk about this part of my life and the other I will talk about that part, weird how it works....

Then there is a good friend that I only know for 3months now, the funny thing is that that person knows more about me than the friends I growed up with, Okay so he/she doesn't know my whole child hood and what I did and did not do, but he/she knows all the important stuff that ever happened that not even one of my true friends know about. Why is that? Why can I share every thing with that one person and not with the rest?
Well end of the story, I only have a few real True friends that's always there and for that I wanna thank you all. But just think about this one little thing. Do you really know your friends? Do they really know you? There's always something hidden somewhere that you or they don't know about. Well I'm on a mission to study my friends, have started with that about in the middle of the month, it is so weird what you can discover after all this time.....

The one that got away....

I met you some where
I felt in love
but now it looks
if your ganna go
I dont want you to go
I want you for me
just mine all mine

I love the way
you make me smile
I love the way
you make me feel
when ever we talk
you make me fall
it doesn't make sence
you got thru my fence

I look as you walk away
I feel the window of my heart
getting colder
with every step you take
you getting smaller and smaller
I just cant help
to feel as if
it was my mistake

so I guese your that one
yes that one who got away...

Sword thru my Soul

This post has been writen on friday but just couldn't get it posted.........


Your so nice and Sweet
The way you smile
The cute litle nose
That Beautiful deep eye's
A harmless Angel you are

Something that nice
Just cant hurt a fly
Your a prinsess
Yes you are
A beautiful soul
And nothing less

But that harmless
You are not
You hurt me
I got the pain
That sword you hold
You left thru my soul

O this pain is just to much
This pain is making me nuts
I'm going to a dark place now
As you were my light
But you got me bad

Pull out the sword
Please do
I cant take it
I'll not servive

---------------------------
A special thanx to Drizzy for supplying me the pics that match my feelings, Thanx...

Blood Obsession

All have their obsession
Some got this
Some got that
But for now
I have this...

Blood obsession
What an obsession it is
As you eat my soul
While still alive
And death comes out to play
The play ground is here
Just nok on it door
And come and play...

All we need is a place
A place where Death Surrounds us
Just to see all the body's
All around, missing this
Missing that, but most of all
No soul left to play

O how wonderful place that is
Playground painted with blood
Just red, all red...
A place the sun don't shine
A place with no life

Now thats where I sould be
Now thats what I want
But where to find
How to get there
Thats the qeustion with one answer

Come and join and you will see
A life with a deference
A life for you and me
A place we can play
A place with no pain

Got an obsession, yes I do
Got an obsession with for no life
Got an obsession for pain
But most of all
Got an obsession for Blood
And more Blood

So lets go and bleed
Just you and me
Till there's no more left
But to die a slowly death

What a day.....

Yesterday I whent to work again for the first time in 4 weeks that I actually treid to work... and what a day that was, you can not believe in how many things change in jst 4weeks, its ammazing...

I got there just after 9 in the morning walked into the office and there every one that were there where around me ready to say what happend this last month, as I walked to my table I had this tail op ppl following me... Got my laptop out on the table pluged in and switched on and just walked out of the office to go and make me a cup of coffee, they cant bother me till I had my coffee....

Whent back to my office after got my hot cup in my hands and just sit down and listened to every one... Okay the last time I were there we were about 40ppl exculing the admin, yesterday I found out that there are only 15 left, the rest all just took there things and left. So many rules and stuff changed that I couldn't really work, had to make sure all my things are still on the rules...

And then I will not even talk about how the stock market changed, WOW.... I now have to get all my beerings back to gether, my brein is burnt out at this stage...

O what a life....

My Baby's back.....

Finaly after almost 4 weeks working on my baby she is finished and up and running again.... Yipee... 4 weeks of hard work and a few marks on my hands she's almost ready to go and have some fun, now its just for the most dificult part ever, keeping her under 3000rpm's for the next 1000k's, now how I gonna do that I don't know yet but it just have to be done...

Going in on friday just to check the timming and co's as I do not have the machine to do it my self, then the rest of the 1000km that has to be done and then a service, just to get out the SAE40 oil and back to my normal 20w -50 oil with an added ecoteck 100 to my oil just to make it to the best you can get. After that it has to go in for an dino to get it back to the racing settings on the motor and then I can open up my feul ecoteck feul saver again...

Then its off to the racing tracks and drags for me and me baby again, cant wait... haven't been on the tracks for a long long time. Gonna have a blast again... Hope to see ya all there... LOL.

But the only bad thing about me baby thats working again is now it's all back to work again :(
Darn it was so nice not to go to work for a few weeks but then again thats something we just have to do, work work work, back to reality for me...

Forbiden love

As I look in the sky
I wish I can fly
Just to fly away
Where I have to stay
O how I wish to be there
There with you just be fair

But that's not for me to say
As I have to stay
Got no wings to come to you
For all your beauty
Its all up to you

O why should love be forbiden
Shall it be for ever
For us not to be together
O my dear angel why not fall
Just one leap for all
Its all thats needen

Break the chain
So we can train
For the rest
to be the best

My love for you will never die
And that's no ly
Even when I'm no more
It will stay as before

O my forbiden love
What I can't have
Is this the end for all
Till one you fall

Angel or Not?

The only true Angel that I have seen
You look so nice you look so sweet
From the side that I can see
I like you I do but is that now true
Are you really that are really what I can see
For my eye's are blind and looking thru my mind
I'm only seening the Angel of mine
Can you be can you be true
Oh how I hope my minds not blind

You standing there o so sweet
You stole my heart for me to see
Now I dont have, staring at your feet
Cant help to think that it can be
Can you really be all good and no bad
Can it be true for you not to have
A deamon inside that me cant see

For only good and no bad
It just cant be true
There's not much thats perfect accept for you
Show your deamon show my soul
For my love to know

Are you the Angel are you not
For what I have seen that is true
You are indeed you are all that
Perfect in more than one and only good

For no deamon and no bad
You have my stolen heart, for you to have
I opened my eye's and looked with my soul
Seening you glowing as the moon
Realizing my love is there and that is true
As I will always love you for you!

Mythology

The Ancient Ones
Emerge and run
In Chaos' full eruption
An evil band
In every land
Delighting in destruction

What seems shapeless
Formless and faceless
Their Great One is releasing
So to enslave
Both god and knave
Their sorrows thus increasing

Who is man
To stay the hand
Of those the gods can't better
And a hero yet
Takes the bet
To break the evil's fetter

Three lights of hope
To help you cope
One south, in sand and wonder
One to the east
Defeat the beast
And tear their plan asunder

The final light
Will mark the fight
Where you must face your fear
A door ajar
You travel far
And yet you find it near

Split life's!

Okay there's alot of ppl with split personality's, Wish I could have one, now that would have been fun. Now it's me gentel and careing and then just a few seconds it's the other me evil an djust stay away, darn that sounds like fun. And that would have made my slpited life's so much eassyer.

So Split life's. Yes I have two seperate life's to live and what a hassel it can be some time's, you just can never be at bove at the same time, there's always yeah but sorry I'm this weekend at my other life will not be abel to make it. Now I wish I hade a way to just combine the two, see the problem are that I have a few friends and I mean real friends, then I have my few famaly members thats not blood of course, It's just a few friends that I see as my brother's and sister's. Just a few thats piked out and I will do every thing I can to help them when ever, what ever and just don't give a dam about the after affects.

But now I cant put all my famaly members in one room, or with some friends and vise versa or there will be blood pooring from more than one. So when ever I wanna do something like a Bday I have to split them in half, Today it's with you lot and tomorrow it's with the other lot. Now that sucks as I have to gain 2years in one. Getting old verry fast at this stage. Now I just wanna say to my two seperate life's PLEASE sort out your S*&#. I cant take it anymore going somewhere with the one part and walking in to the other part just is not working any more. Yes I do understand why and what but I just cant do it! The one part wanna be friends again but the other part just have to say sweet. So come on say SWEET and lets all be friends again. I do not care if your friends or not but I just wanna be abel to put you all in a room and there should be no blood, and every body just enjoying them self, no sad face.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
This is all I can do and try, because there are nothing that I can do to fix it, It's up to u's!

Life of mystery!!

Well I'm beginning to come back! The love has not faded and are still stong in my blood but the evil have defently came out to say hi! This last 2 weeks have really pushed me to the limits and yes I have reached it today. My hole lfe feels like one big F #!@up at this stage and there's nothing I can do to fix it!!

Have any of you ever thought of a defernt life? A life where every thing is just simple and eassy and there's nothing that's bodering you or nothing that pushes the blood level up until it just cant anymore. Well ppl guese what that life exist, it really are out there and it really are right in front of us! You just have to take it! Use the oppertunity that is if you really whant to.

Well I have been there before and it was great, the best time's of my life were there. But there's only one problem with that. Its a great life to live, its very very interesting, I know most of you have found it interresting and have wonderd how it would be like. What make's ppl go there? Well the answer are eassy, just to much of life. Thats all it takes. Okay then to have some old friends thats already living that life just makes it eassyer to get your feet in it. No I'm not talking of Criminals Acts. There I will never go!!

Okay back to the problem of that life, It's just not a way to live! No human been can live that life and enjoy it. There has to be something wrong with you, Yes you do get the good and the bad but more ppl take the bad trend than the good. The Bad is just so much eassyer than the good, you can do so much more with the bad. I'm talking here about the life in which craft and wizardtry. Yes it do exist. And Yes its wonderful in that life. And it works.

There's only a few things keeping me away from that and that is my wonderful friends and the love for someone special. If that someone weren't there then I'm sure I would have been back to that life by now. And then there are my believes that are top of the list of why not! I believe and I always will! And in that life there's no room for believe's in the good or bad. I just really Really hope that I will not go back to that, I just don't wanna. I want to enjoy my life as a good person, someone that will always help someone else!

The life is there for me to pick Yes or NO! That is just one of the door sets I have to pick from.
To all my friends thanx for being there. For my friend in a deferent life, also thanx for being there. Then Drizzy thanx for all the help and support you do not have an idee of how much you help! And then Another special thanx to you Beautiful. You have opened my eye's in more than one way, You have brought me this far with out knowing it! Years and years of searching the universe of that litle some thing that makes life worth living, we'll at this moment you are it. Yes I know it will never be as I want it to be, but still you are there and hopefully will always be. there's only one thing that I do regret from meeting you and that is that you have moved my tast level up, high up. For that my soul mate, my true love will never be found as ther's no one , and nothing that can compare to you!

Hi There All.

To all the readers of this blog. Sorry to say but this blog will be quiet for a while. I'll have to give all my consetration to my baby for a while. She needs some work so I'll be a bit bussy with her the most of my time thru the day and proberly the evenings to. But I will be back soon.

When I'm back this blog will change alot, yes some ppl will be glad about it some not. If it will change for the good or for the bad that I cant say at this moment but it will become more of me and my wonderfull life. Going thru a change in my life and have to get my self back as I where before. The last few months have changed me a lot and broke down all my walls around my soul and heart. Well they are being bult for scratch again and this time stronger.

Who knows maybe you will like the new me, maybe not but all in all thats not my problem if you don't. As I'm a freak and I'm changing back to be one. This last while I've been a the other me, the part of me that tryed to get out! But its not time for that part to come out and proberly would not get out very soon. So till I'm back. Keep an eye out and carry on posting, I'll still be going thru all yours.

Till we meet again, For better for worse..... Lets see.....
HAHA This cat got some weird eyes.

My Special Friend!

This I dedicate to my Very Very Beautiful Special Lady Friend.

My friend and her X decided to get back to gether and give it another shot, and with this post I just wanna wish you good luck and I really, Really hope it works this time. If there's one thing I noticed these past few weeks, it would be that she really cares about him and that he must have made her a very happy person and for that I'm glad. If he makes you happy and if he makes you feel special, then its worth every second!

But with this I just wanna ask you to make 2 promises to your self, well one is actaully to me. No. 1 - Don't let our friendship change except for the better. No. 2 -Don't make your self unhappy just to be with him. Then its not worth it, your a very talented beautiful girl and deserve the best. So make sure you get the best.

And remember me as a friend will always be there for you if you need help with anything, You know where to find me. And lots of love!!! Once more Good Luck!!!

I Miss You!

I Miss You, What does it actaully mean, it is so eassy to say the words but do you really mean it? Its a few simple words that can make you smile, a few simple word that can make your hart fill with joy and its a few simple words that make's you feel special and that your not alone in the world. The big question is just what do you really mean with these simple words?

To me "I Miss You" means that I have thought about you alot, I couldn't get you out of my mind I cant be with out you! Lets take this wonderfull weekend of mine, vryday I had a braai with some of my frriends, and a few that I didn't know. HAHA the one freak, same the poor guy he's close in my hart, feels like a small brother to me. I'll always be there for him if he needs help. But anyway.
As the night went on there were only one thing in my mind and it didn't help what I done that one thing just stayed in there. Saterday I visited my two new friends, very nice ppl... but still one thing in my mind. Saterday night we went to play pool, and there was this one girl humming around me almost like a bee..... didn't know her before that night. but still only one thing.

Sunday we went to wesbank raceway as we got a few VIP tickets for me Bday, They were fake though so it didn't really help. But It was a wonderfull day as they had weird races or must I rather say opstical courses to drive and there in the pit, She was standing there looking so beautifull, I walked up and just stared for 10mins, Now thats the only ten mins that I was not thinking of that one thing that never leefs my mind. That 10mins were while I was looking at the beatifull Nisan Skyline GTR R34 V-Spec... Darn I want one....

There after back to my normal thoughts, Now when I say I missed You to that Beautifull Angel I really mean it, I also maen that I just couldn't stop thinking of you. You are always in my head no matter what I do. Your Beautifull smile and those Beautifull eye's, how can you get that picture out of your head? you just can't. So I just wanna say.....

I Miss You!!!!!!! every second of the day, every day of the week, every week of the month and every month of the year, every year of my life........

The Call

Yesterday night I got this marveliss call. This wonderfull girl pretending to be someone that I slept with a wail ago on a drunk night and now she's pregnant. If it only was the truth, It would have made my day soooooo good. But unforgently I know its not true. But you have done a very good job, almost confincing! There is just one big problem with the whole call. The last time that I was drunk was uhmmm new years! The second one is the last time that I was at a party where I met new ppl were 5months ago, so for your call to say it was two months ago and I was drunk. mmmmmm................ It just couldn't be. But for that two ladys that made the call, Thanx I needed it, There's at least still a few ppl just enjoying every moment of live, Again thanx. O yes and just for the record!! I know its one of two ppl. As its only those two tthat know I'm back on my old number. And I have an Idee it was you...... But thanx.

P.S. Next time you do this to someone, Please just put the phone down before laugthing, other wish the guy would never stress a bit, and think!

My Life!

What is it that makes life wonderfull?
What is it that makes life terreble?

Well lets see. What makes it wonderfull? The love from familly and friends, the love from your partner, and reaching your dream in life! Reaching your goals in life well how wonderfull for you!! Every body is not as lucky as you are. But every body is treing. Happyness thats the biggest answer for a wonderfull life.

What makes it terreble? Not reaching your goals, failling with every thing that you do, And the worst knowing that your dream will never be!!!!

Well I think I'm at this stage of life at the moment. Every thing is just not working out. Every yhing is gooing wrong! And to think a month ago my life was Wonderfull.

Why sould these things happen, why are there always all the downs, and so few up's? Yes I geuse thats whats maing Life, Life but in that case do you really wanna be alive?

Okay I know that I'm not sounding good at this moment but what can I say. Every thing that I worked so hard for is bussy to go wrong, why did I do all that hard work for nothing? And then then to make it even worst as a have a big fear that is bussy coming true, Darn why now? And then just for the Cherry on top, my no.1 dream in life would proberly never happen as my life took a weird turn a two years ago, and all hope for that dream was lost. The thing that I wanted the most I will never be able to have ( No its not a girl and its not a car ) but its been my dream for a long long time.

Then you get your wonderfull friends thats all ways there for you, except now, when I really, Really need them. They are there but not how you need them. Tryed talking to my wonderfull friend and all that happend is that I just got more depresed and just feels worst. I mean when your down under, you don't wanna hear how bad you are, and if you done that it would not have happend. Come on I feel bad enouth, dont make it worse you b............., F.......... you! ( Sorry Peeps just have to get it out)

This is the time that your friends should stand with you, not against you. You make it worst. ( O What a Wonderfull song, Such a lonly day of System! Sorry of the toppic but It's Playing now ) So all and all, at should help not this moment my life sucks so please don't think that I'm not here, I'm just not as happy go clappie as normally. To all my friends Love you all, To the special one Still Love You more than every thing. Know that I'm quite the last while but I yeah what can I say.

Love To Dream!

O How I love my dreams, they allways feel so real. I just whish that I can have one every knight thou.

Had a dream last night. I can remember that I was small, very small proberly got shrinked with a shrink ray..... but any ways, I was chassing this other very small person under neef the couch and through the kitchen cabets and every where. As I finally got to the guy after climbing over dog pallets and stuff. I saw that he stoped and watched some one else also very small. Fighting a spider but what a weird spider it was.....

This litle spiders (Okay Huge spider as I was small) body were not normal, Nope it had a tortis shell as a body, just with more holes in the sides for his legs, as he had about 12 legs. the legs was mostly green with every joint red, had about 6 joints per leg. The head I cant really remember...

So this small person fighting the spider with with a red cloth, almost the same as they use for the bulls. As the fight whent on the guy that I chassed has just disapeared and the one fighting the spider has decided that he had enoth and just ran. Leaving me now alone with this Humangis beast. Well I treid to fight the monster but two hand against 12 legs..... It just didn't work. The beast got me, Darn now its to late to run. Just to notice as he grabed me with his legs that the things legs are electicuted, so I got a shock of my life, Darn that felt so real.

And thats just where I had to wake up, Darn whish I could have only slept one second longer.

Who's Beside You!

It all comes down to who's beside you!!
So true, I must say. Ppl always say that they don't change when they get a girl/boy friend or visit alot with some one. Well I dis agree.

Ppl change more than one thinks and it happens right in front of your eye's with out reallizing it.
Look carefully and you might just see them change. You give things up that you normally used or done, your personality change and you just adapt to your new suroundings.

I've seen ppl change from assholes to very nice ppl just for a bit of love. Stop drinking, stop smoking deferent eat habbits and a totally deferent life style, going from populur to dweep just in a few days. LOL okay maybe not dweep.... Well lets take me for instence, a long long time ago when I were not as single as now. I gave up smoking not because I was asked to but just because she didn't like it, I went from alcoholic to casual drinker and I gave up my motor sport hobbie, Not completelly but to much according to me. ( No more dicing.... ) And bad from my side forgot some of my friends. ( Worst thing ever... ) Change in interest and began to watch chick films....

Okay yes, thats a few tipical things, But the point beeing. Ppl adapt to with who they are friends and / or who's by there side. There's so many things you'll do for the love of your life. You'll move to a deferent state deferent country. You'll give up almost every thing you love and you'll change your life style. Is it all worth it?? We'll according to me YES, for as long as it last, But dont give up that really maters, Its not worth making your life worth nothing just for them. Select your friends carefully and select your partner from your heart and not your mind. Your eye's might be blind. Your heart will know.

Darn I'm Tierd.

Went out with the Phase1Racing peeps last night, and what a wonderful evening it was. Darn Red Ridding Hood has a few Marshall Art moves. But any ways got home at about 3am. This morning I got up and finished for work as tiered as hell. But left home at time and hit the road to work, normally an hour drive. As I got into my car I popped in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s cd and just cruised, driving for about 20 to 30 minutes and bam a darn minion trying to drive. Pushed me off the road as he don’t know how his breaks work at a stop street and felt in behind him, driving 20km/h in an 80 zone. Irritating me and then just out of the blue he decided to turn right, never mind the car coming from the front. And again almost causing an accident, but at least that’s were I could drive again. Irritated pulling away from a stop sing I accidentally took 50 000km of my tires, and that’s were I realized. I’ve been driving for 20 – 30 minuets and where the hell am I going? Completely off the road that I drive to work every morning. Meaning instead of going east I when west. What went on in my mind? Darn I hate it when I do things and never knows why I done that. And this is not my first time it happened. Remember a few years back I drove to secunda and as I stopped there at the secunda mall, I realized uhmmmm what am I doing here? I actually wanted to go to Kruger’s dorp. Uhmm………. Why does things like that happen?

Lost mind!

My mind are lost, My mind are gone, I can't think no matter how hard I try. Thinking of this thinking of that but in the end only thinking of one thing.
Trying to watch tv tyring to listen music but still its only that one thing, that one thing floating in my mind, that one thing thats stuck.
Can't get it out, can't get it to leave but no more.... have to find my mind....
Don't know where don't know how but there's no more time, with out my mind are with out me!

Where can I look where can I see,where my lost mind can be. Trying to work trying to drive, its no hope, no hope at all. Leing in my bed sitting in my car its always just there, No matter how no matter what I'm glad it is, but I need a break I need my mind, at least just for now just one day, thats all I ask.

I have been thinking, O yes I have as its all I can do, as its you!

Small stuppid things!

Who worry's what other ppl think? Have you ever notised that ppl cares to much of small things. Why are that? If I wanna do something I wanna do it with out thinking what will they think about it. Screw them this is my life and I will do what I want to do, when I want to and how I want to.

Yes I am crazy and Yes I enjoy it to be. I was in a conversation today with some one and it leaded to this point, for me just to ask how long are your big tone? Just a simple question right. Well thinnk again. The chance to get an answer for a question like that are not very good! The first response that I got were "Why?" thats fair , I would also whant to know why? Got past that and the next response where "what will the ppl think" "they gonna think I'm crazy".

Okay honnestly would have done it? just emagine, you sitting in the office and there you see this one guy or girl, taking of his shoe put his feet on the desk and grab a ruler and measure his litle big tone! What will you think? Well I know I would have done it, and yes there are some one els with me on this. So I thought just for fun lets ask some more ppl to do it. Just to see how many ppl are really crazy.

Out of ten ppl I asked, five guys and five girls there was only one who did it, only one freak that actually measured her mister big tone. HAHA your a freak! But thats why we all love you so much. And yes its a girl. But thanx for helping me prove a point.

Ppl please stop carring what others think and gain some trust. Its your life and you can do what you want, when and how you wish. The actual fing is just to stand up and do it before you think.

This message are not pointed on the fisrt person who got the question.... But then it might help you a bit, go red!

The Love for IT freaks!

Don't you just love your companies IT specialists? I meen you hear that they will be coming out tomorow and fix the network, the internet and just have to change your IP settings for the new network, for you to come online. Well GREATE my internet and network are going to work at last.

Yes they fix every thing today at my office, I can actually download my emails with out struggeling. its like open outlook and WOW its finnished and then whe dont even have a cap-limit anymore.

When in for a meeting this morning, left my laptop at my desk and when I got out of the meeting they were finnished and gone. Now I just have a few problems. Okay my emails works. My browser works but only on co.za site's (WTF?). My MsN is not working, they bloked the dammmm port it uses on the server (WTF?), and they know most of my customers are on msn, Now I have to call them and waste money.

And then for the rest of the things. My darn SQL server aren't working anymore - My PC takes agess to boot, they removed 50% of all my programs. And HELL I wont even go more into detail.

Who the hell do they think they are. Wish I known what they did and did not do. After re-installing my software, half of it doesn't work any more. Now I cant use my database any more so all my client details are lost. Cant contact my clients as dont have there numbers always used MSN.

I just wish that they can leaf my things alone if I'm not there. Now I have to waste my time sorting out my database and to get msn working again. I Hate Them! I Hate Them! I Hate Them!

WHY Keep it silent?

Why, Why, Why.

Why keep it a secret? why keep it for your self? It's not if it was that much to say! Just be open and honnest!

Everything whent so good, every thing happend as it should, every thing was almost perfect, Well so I thought but I guese I was wrong, Guese I'm the fool, Guese I was blind.

I really thought every thing is going fine and that there might be a chance. And then all the sudden every thing is just going wrong one after another, one today two tomorrow and so it keeps on going and going never ending never stopping.

Why not just tell me? Why not just be open and honnest with me, would it have killed you? Its just a few simple words one phrase and on phrase only. Would have helped me alot, just to say........

Now I kept on hanning on for my life, where I just could have let go and save so much of sadness, so much of tears and so much more of self respect. Would really have loved just to know. And all would not have been gone, Some would have survived and some would have still be great.

But as it's me and me aloan in this wonderful time of pain and missery, I'll guese I'll just have to survive and keep on going. But ALL will never be lost, I will not let every thing dissapear, I dedicated my life and will kleen on as long as posible. Thought some thing was deffirent, thought something was weird and now it all had to come out like this, It broke my hard and will proberly do so for a while.

Please no secrets, be honnest and all will go well.

For all the online friends

Someone asked me once
about people online-
Don't I find it silly
to call them friends of mine?

I pondered the thought
for a little while-
and slung 'em a story
with a huge smile.

I wake up in the mornin
I'll tell ya what I do-
I race to my computer
to check my mail , it's true!

I open each and everyone
and reply with tender care-
maybe justa a line or two
to let 'em know I'm there!

I have seen strange things
been so many places-
Have even seen a few
of their online faces!

It doesnt matter to me
that they are far away-
Meetin' them has surely
brightened up my day!

We've shared a morning coffee
and at times we've shed a tear-
We've been there for each other.
Even played cards and drank a beer!

They are just as real to me
as you are standing there
They are always here for me
with lots of love and care.

One thing online has taught me
something I'll never forget-
There's alotta great people
out there on the net!

"How can you be friends with
someone you've never met?"
I'll smile and tell them,
"You've never been online I bet!"

So you can find me silly
if that's what ya wanna do-
But I care for them every bit
as much as I care for you!

Drifting Poles

" The Chandler wobble was first discovered back in 1891 by Seth Carlo Chandler an American astronomer. The effect causes the Earth's poles to move in an irregular circle of 3 to 15 metres in diameter in an oscillation. The Earth's Wobble has a 7 year cycle which produces two extremes, a small spiraling wobble circle and a large spiraling wobble circle, about 3.5 years apart. The Earth was in October 2005 moving into the small spiraling circle (the MIN phase of the wobble), which should have slowly unfolded during 2006 and the first few months of 2007. (Each spiraling circle takes about 14 months). But suddenly at the beginning of November 2005, the track of the location of the spin axis veered at a very sharp right angle to its circling motion.

The track of the spin axis began to slow down and by about January 8, 2006, it ceased nearly all relative motion on the x and y coordinates which are used to define the daily changing location of the spin axis."

Maybe this explains the strange weather we are having for the last year around. But I think this is crazy. They also say that the North and South Pole will swap polarity's, thats the magnetic poles thou. Claiming this to happen in the year 2012. HAHA will atleast first have the soccer in SA..... Well not that I really care, As non of there planings are finnished and its not that far anymore.... And don't watch soccer.

Some scientists also think that this could be the end of man kind. As they think that the swopping of the poles could make damage. Well I just think this is crazy, just think tomorow north is south and south is north. This could make me confuzed. So in a few years, where is the sun going to come up? Somthing to think about. Our never changing world, a few things as you growed up, you relized that it will never change! And now? It seems to me if this can happen then what is not possible? Maybe day and night will also switch places...... Okay wait I'm freaking my self out now...... Yippee every one's going to work night shift. HAHA

I wanted to add an Dooms day counter to this page, But it cant take the format.
The counter counts down to 20 December 2012, So do the maths - You all got another 2315 days left. LOL.

For more info on this.....
http://www.polereversal.com Happy reading.......

Stolen Heart!

Firstly I want to thank my Beautiful Angel for the heart. You will not believe how difficult it is just to find a heart pic on the net. Googled for one this afternoon and found zero that interested me and I must say this little heart means soooo much more now than one that I would have downloaded form our wonderful internet friend.

Well then, Stolen heart.

How hard is it to get your heart stolen? And why does it happen? Well my hard has been stolen by a very beautiful girl, yes at first it was her beautiful smile that got my attention and I thought to my self, she would be a nice flirt. So I started to flirt with her and just thought what the hell. Then after a few days she just stole my heart out of my body. Yes she literally pulled my heart out and ran away with it. Don’t know maybe she keeps it under her pillow at night when she sleeps. O what a wonderful girl she is indeed.

Well my brother used to make a joke that all I eat goes to my feet, as I can eat a lot, a lot more than you can think if you see me. But I got an answer for him now, the food doesn’t go to my feat but to my heart as I’m never hungry anymore. I can’t eat the same quantities that I used to (may be that saying is true that you live on love and water when you are in love). For my heart is somewhere else and can’t absorb the food anymore.

O my stolen heart. Where can you be, HEHE don’t worry might be stolen but not lost as I know who stole it and I know she’s taking good care of it. So I just wanna say to the beautiful lady please bring my hart back some day, and please bring it back whole and not broken. I’ll share my heart and soul with you any day of the month any second of the year for as long as possible ( Well if it’s my choice it will be till six feet under ). As soon as you give me the chance to do so. Yes I don’t know you that long and yes it’s weird for me too, as this are the first time something as special as this happened to me and defiantly the first time it happened the way it did. But as weird as it might be, I’m soooo glad it did.

You made me realize what love is, How you should feel when your really in love as I cant stop thinking about you. When I close my eyes at night you’re the first one to appear. As I wake up in the mornings you’re the first one I want to great. I just want to sit some where on a bench under the stars and moon with you cuddled up in my arms and just sit there, let the time fly by just knowing that your there and nothing else just forget every thing around us. (Except the alien that looks thru his telescope at us).

I’ll give you the world, I’ll buy you the moon and I’ll make you the happiest girl alive. Well that’s if the moon is still for sale.

Love your favourite Gremlin.

Rejection.

What is it about rejection thats sooo BAD. I mean your not even really rejected but hell it kills you like a nife is being grinded throu your hart, never stopping and the blade just never ends. It grindes you till you just cant take it anymore and then just a bit further for the fun of it.

I cant understand it. If you set your self up to do some thing and you really do it, the only thing your ever scared of is the rejection part. There's never something else in between. You'll always just think PLEASE dont reject, I cant take another nife not again not now.

But the hell with it. Rejection will always be there just to torture you, hear have some pain enjoy it. HAHA sorri peeps getting a bit side tracked here. But there's also an interisting toppic, pain. Now that we will defently cover some other day not now.

HAHA I guese I dont have that much to say about rejection as I thought. So lets quickly jusmp over to FEAR. Fear is when your scared of it, right so if your scared of something like a spider you will do what ever you can do to stay away from it. And then on the other side you get fear of hights, O yes you'll be scared of hights but will still jump out of a plane - Hell its not a spider.

Well I've got a fear for elevators but thats more just because I'm closterfobic, Yip the Grem has one real fear HAHA. I hate an elevator, dont wanna use the thing but hell. If there's an elevator I'll rather use it than using the stairs. Just close my mind and step in, push the button and wait. When the doors open just walk out and open my mind again, just to realize I got out on the wrong floor - Some one got into the lift. HAHA that happend alot before.

Then you get the fear for your emotions. Now there are one fear no one messes with. O no no one touch that. There's one fear you cant over come no matter what. Never mind of all the good that there is, No matter whats in stake if the fear is there then the fear will alway's win.


P.S. This is not set on you Beautiful. I respect your choise and take your time.
Just had to get it off my mind.

Cute or not?

So What do you think Cute or Not?

I know that when I first saw this litle hair ball I thought " what in the hell is this" It looked like a large rat with an oversized nose and as if it fell into the hair grow formula. haha you had to see her then when she was just a baby. Now she still looks like a hair ball, That will proberly never grow out.

This is the most irretating piece of hair that you can get, but I love her like the world it self. Our litle hair ball, it's a clever hair ball thou. It's so if she under stands every thing you say. Very possesive over any thing. If its hers, then dont take it even just a piece of paper. When she wanna go out in night, dam the one who thinks she will go alone, Nope you have to walk with her or she just sits and look at you.

HAHA that's our litle spoiled hair ball. Aint she cute?

A Black Rose

A Black Rose is defenently the most beatiful and most exotic flower in the world, The chances of getting one is almost next to nothing as I have found two places so far where I can get one and then I must also wait a life time to get it - Almost as if they grow them on demand -.

This I dedicate to the worlds most beautiful Girl. Just as you will search the whole world for a black rose you will search the whole world for some one like her.

As her beauty lies deep in the unreachable dept of the see. Where every thing glows and blows your mind away, because its there where you can see the most beautiful creations ever created. But yet, she's found in an open place - Don't know how but I'm sure glad of it -.

She got the Beauty but yet more important than that is that she got the beauty inside as well. Where in the world do you get that combination? I'll travel the whole world from south to north and east to west and still it would not be found. A true Angle send down for man kind to see how beautiful life sould be.

And just as it's worth waiting for a black rose, to see the beauty, to hold and wonder from where it came, To feel the softness and to smell the soft unique smell. It's worth waiting for my sweet Angle to hold and to love.

My first black rose, It's going to you Beautiful.
Well if all goes well it would be soon. - Hope every thing works out -

Sad but Glad.

Hay there what is it about feelings? It's always there no mater what you do. Darn life's hard if you take in all emotions. I must say that I was SOOOO sad today, I felt like nothing but a small boy who lost his faviriot blankie. Don't know I think my feelings just got the best of me. But I think it was worth it thou. Every second ecept the part that I was still in my office ( Open plan office that is ).

Got a few looks from my colleges that I will never forget and I'm sure they will also never forget today. Can I tell you a secert - I almost felt tears comming out my eye's-. So for all those that got that side of me, Sorry. For the rest who missed it HAHA your loss.

But all worked out better than I thought it will. So now I'm Happy.

Feelings wonderfull and not. Good but bad, but part of bieng human so notthing can stop it no matter how hard you try. So lets hope that all the sad feelings will stay away and leave the room for the good and happy feelings. And then there are the scared feelings....... But that is for another day.

So remember always smile and everyone will smile back at you. Be sad and every one around you will also be sad, and that just messes up a good and wonderful day.

Why not ??

In this wonderfull word of us there are so many known and so many unknown. After all these years of man kind living on our wonderfull planet that God created for us to enjoy, There are still so litle known.

Take the rain forest for the first example. Already thousands of bug spessies are known in the rain forest - remember that it is more than 6000 in one rain forest alone - but yet each day they they discover hundereds more.

For the second example the see. The most exotic wonderfull place on this planet. The most spectacular seens to see in your life would be found in there. And also so many undescovered spessies living down there - Looking amazing but yet no one knows about them - . Looks like beauty is always saved for last.

So do we really know what lives or lived? Dinasours maybe - wel not as ppl say but according to me yesc-. Dragons - That would have been cool thou -.

Then we go to space, also one of the worlds most spectacular seens - Just starring into the sky at night, looking at the beautiful moon serounded by stars - and so unknown.

Ppl thought they know every thing a lot of few years ago, and said that Pluto is the last. Well as they have descoverd a few years ago, there are more than just Pluto. Yes, they found a new planet that they called Planet X - Proberly out of names - and again they thought this is it.

But luckely I can say no sorry for you guy's. Man kind has upgraded technoligy and whent on with their search in space. Not known to a lot of ppl, they have descoverd more than three planets after Planet X. So what? What about it? Well thats not where it stops, Not only has they found planets but they have also found another 3 'sonne stelsels' - cant get to find the english name for that now - Yes three more like us revolving around a sun.

So why not Aliens? How can there be so many planets, but no life? No I do not believe in crop circle's or Area 51 and all the ab-duction storries that many ppl claim to have happened, But maby be they have been here on earth before. But I do believe that there are life out there. Some where in space is some thing living on a planet. Whish I could meet one - Maybe I'll find my home, and meet my real parents - before I die.

Just think of the possebility of live other than us.